Sevi Koppe, Char Erskine, Cynthia Fortlage and Cécile Deprez share wisdom and strategies on disclosing your identity as a Queer woman at work.
Being our authentic selves can be both empowering and challenging—especially for queer women. In professional spaces, disclosure can be a vulnerable act, even more so for those of us navigating complex intersectional identities. In fact, 75% of LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary people say they have hesitated to come out at work for fear of it affecting their career advancement. How do we decide when, how, and with whom to share our authentic selves? How can we build genuine relationships in environments that don’t always embrace diversity? And most importantly, how do we foster belonging in spaces where inclusivity is often still a work in progress?
At We Create Space, we founded our Queer Women in Business meet-ups to cultivate a space where queer women can discuss important questions like these in small focus groups, sharing their experiences to foster deeper connection and understanding. The diversity of ages and backgrounds enriches these conversations, providing the chance to see issues through multiple lenses shaped by different lived experiences.
I had the privilege of reflecting on the theme of identity disclosure with Char Erskine, Cynthia Fortlage and Cécile Deprez. Their collective insights laid the foundation for discussions that challenged us to rethink the meaning of authenticity and belonging in the workplace.
Why do Queer Women choose not to disclose their identities?
Deciding when and how to disclose our identities in professional settings is deeply personal, shaped by internal confidence and external factors. It’s not hard to see why people feel inclined to hide their identities: 79% of LGBTQIA+ women and non-binary people report greater difficulty breaking through the glass ceiling compared to straight cisgender women, with the experience being even more difficult for individuals with intersecting marginalized identities, such as queer people of colour.
RESOURCE:
Being a Queer Woman of Colour in the Workplace.
Six Queer women leaders share the challenges they have faced at work, how they deal with 'micro'-aggressions, and what true allyship means to them.
For Char, the journey toward authenticity in the workplace was challenging. "There was a time when I didn’t consider any professional setting to be safe to show up as myself. The big change around being more authentic in the workplace was actually some of the negative experiences I encountered from not being myself." Hearing homophobic and transphobic comments, alongside culturally insensitive remarks during the Black Lives Matter movement, made Char re-evaluate the cost of staying silent. “I long for the day that being myself at work is not seen as an act of bravery. True belonging begins when we stop negotiating our identity for others' comfort.”
Cynthia emphasizes the importance of the environment. "Deciding to disclose often depends on whether the workplace practices Acceptance without Understanding™," Cynthia explained. In these spaces, individuals don’t need to fully understand each other’s identities to show respect. "For me, a safe space is where individuals accept one another without needing every detail. That fosters an environment where we don’t just 'fit' but truly belong."
For Cécile, disclosure decisions hinge on a complex interplay of privilege and circumstance. "Gender non-conforming folks usually have very little choice regarding coming out to their colleagues, whereas others might decide with whom they’ll be authentic," Cécile noted. They highlighted that external factors, like visible LGBTQIA+ leaders or supportive ERG groups, can provide reassurance. "However, the visibility tied to our professional role can be a barrier if we’re not out to friends or family."
Ultimately, disclosure is a nuanced choice. As Char reflected, "The worst thing we can lose by hiding who we are is our sense of self." Whether it’s seeking safe spaces, finding allies, or weighing risks, the decision to disclose is deeply influenced by both our personal readiness and the environments we navigate.
RESOURCE:
Emily Horton shares how her relationship with labelling her sexuality has changed over time and discusses the importance of personal choice.
How “professionalism” must change to accommodate Queer women.
Our collective understanding of professionalism has undergone a significant shift as workplaces begin to embrace authenticity. Char noted that traditional ideas of professionalism often reflect systemic biases. “The version of professionalism often spoken about in our workplaces is centred in whiteness, patriarchy, binary gender roles, ableism, and classism,” Char explained. In fact, a 2020 Duke University study found that Black women with natural hairstyles were perceived to be less professional and less competent, and were less likely to be recommended for job interviews than their white counterparts.
By standing firm in their identity, Char aims to challenge these outdated norms and be a role model for a more inclusive definition of professionalism, but it’s not always easy. "Do I still find myself code-switching and masking? Unfortunately, yes," they admitted, highlighting the ongoing tension of balancing authenticity with societal expectations.
Cynthia shared her perspective on how professionalism has shifted in her time working from “rigid expectations to a model where authenticity is valued.” She believes that authenticity not only fosters a sense of belonging but also enhances productivity and collaboration. “It’s not about ‘fitting in’ but feeling welcome as we are. A safe space is one where people respect and accept each other’s identities without needing every detail,” she emphasized, pointing to how inclusive environments benefit both individuals and organizations.
RESOURCE:
Lesbian executive Nancy Di Dia poses questions to transgender activist Eva Echo on workplace allyship, sexism and the common struggles cis and trans women share.
For Cécile, the intersection of the personal and the political plays a crucial role in redefining professionalism. “Society does not stop once we have closed the doors of the office,” they pointed out, reminding us that workplaces are not isolated from broader societal dynamics.
Together, these perspectives highlight a collective push to reshape professionalism into a concept that doesn’t rehash gender stereotypes and which values authenticity over conformity. By embracing diverse identities, workplaces not only evolve but also create environments where individuals can thrive.
How does intersectionality impact experiences of disclosure?
The workplace is a complex environment where multiple aspects of our identities—queer, gender, race, and more—intersect, often in spaces that don’t fully recognize or understand them. A 2023 study by Deloitte found that over a third of LGBT+ workers are considering job changes due to a lack of LGBT+ inclusive policies, and while LGBT+ employees express a strong desire to openly discuss their sexual orientation at work, fewer than half of them feel comfortable doing so, particularly with senior leaders.
Cécile stresses the importance of embedding intersectionality into workplace diversity initiatives. “While many companies have started their DEI journey by focusing on gender, it’s often done in a binary way, neglecting the broader concept of intersectionality,” they observed. They believe Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) play a crucial role in bridging these gaps. “Even if we have to join multiple ERGs to reflect our different identities, we can use them to create a more inclusive environment.”
RESOURCE:
Zee Monteiro reflects on the influences of race, community and spirituality on their journey to understanding their gender identity.
For Char, navigating these intersections begins with focusing on shared values rather than differences: “We can be so quick to worry about how we differ from others that we overlook the commonalities that brought us together in the first place.” Char advocates for cultivating relationships through curiosity rather than fear or judgment. “In fast-paced environments, it’s easy to gravitate towards those who are obviously like us. But sometimes the most valuable connections come from taking the time to understand someone new,” they explained.
How do we encourage respectful curiosity?
Curiosity, when approached thoughtfully, is a powerful tool for fostering deeper connections and more inclusive workplaces. Cynthia explains, “When we embrace others’ experiences without demanding full explanations, we create space for genuine learning and connection.” This kind of curiosity, rooted in respect, allows teams to ask meaningful questions, helping relationships flourish beyond surface-level understanding.
Char suggested we take this idea a step further, advocating for a reciprocal approach to curiosity. “We need to treat heteronormativity with the same level of curiosity often shown towards the queer community,” they argue. For example, when someone asks about a queer person’s coming-out experience, Char suggests responding with questions like, “How did you know you were straight?” or “How does my family dynamic compare to yours?” This mutual exchange encourages reflection on societal privileges and fosters empathy.
“These conversations can open people’s eyes to their role in creating a more inclusive environment and inspire them to advocate for and mentor underrepresented colleagues,” Char adds. Cecile agrees, “Through storytelling, we can ignite essential discussions and drive the change needed for a more inclusive workplace.”
Such dialogues, Char believes, also help dismantle stereotypes. “By sharing curiosity across all identities, not just focusing on the ‘minority,’ we foster an environment where everyone is open, honest, and vulnerable, which strengthens authentic relationships.” However, they caution that some workplace questions directed at LGBTQ+ individuals can still be invasive. “Reciprocating curiosity can make others more mindful about how personal their questions might be,” Char notes.
Your Strategy for Navigating Disclosure.
Assess your work environment. Your safety and comfort are the most important thing, and there is no pressure to disclose until you feel ready to do so. Evaluate your organisation's culture, policies, and diversity initiatives to assess whether the environment is likely to be supportive. Are there any visible leaders in the company? Are policies written to include your identity group?
Consider your boundaries. Before deciding to disclose, consider your personal comfort levels when discussing your identity. You’re likely to get questions, so decide ahead of time what topics of discussion are off limits and prepare how you might shut down discussion beyond your comfort level. You might decide to be open about your identity in certain spaces but not others, or hide particular details for your safety. Do whatever feels right for you.
Build a support network. Having allies in the office can make disclosing significantly easier. Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) or LGBTQ+ networks are a great place to start, but you can also seek out other employees who are open about their sexuality, gender, disability or other marginalised identity. Even if you don’t share a common identity, they are likely to have useful insight on the reality of disclosure at your company. Your office besties are also a useful resource of support - check out our “My Ally & Me” article series exploring allyship stories in the workplace.
Practice Patience. Char advises that you “be patient with both yourself and others as you navigate disclosure and relationship building.” Building inclusive spaces takes time and consistent effort, so try not to be discouraged if you’re initially met with some ignorance or confusion. Remember that your disclosure paves the way for future employees to be openly themselves at work too!
Sevi Koppe (she/her)
Sevi Koppe is Community Director at We Create Space, as well as an international creative director and producer. She's worked for films and music festivals around the world, as a creative director, booking agent and a production manager. Her vision is queer and she's been curating international events since 2000 to promote LGBTQ+ visibility to mainstream audiences. Sevi works with venues around the world to coordinate exclusive events.
Char Erskine (they/them)
Char is a Black, queer, non-binary and neurodivergent person of Antiguan and Jamaican heritage. They live with late-diagnosed ADHD and long-term mental health battles and shares their lived experience at the intersection of all these things to drive conversation, curiosity, and authentic connection between people. Char works in DEI in the legal sector, channelling their special interest in all things inclusion, accessibility, and social justice into the corporate environment.
Cynthia Fortlage (she/her)
Cynthia is a Belfast-born, Canadian-raised, and globally recognised gender diversity educator and consultant based in London, UK, and the founder of CAF Services. With over 30 years in technology, she specialises in building inclusive corporate cultures that champion human rights, gender diversity, and intersectionality. A white lesbian woman with a trans+ history, Cynthia has worked with nearly 500 organisations across over 30 countries since 2017.
Cécile Deprez (they/them) Cécile is a researcher in the field of satellite positioning (GPS) at the German Space Centre (DLR) in Munich. At DLR, Cécile has developed a number of activities related to diversity and inclusion as the co-founder of networks for women & gender minorities, internationals and LGBTQIA+ folks. Since 2022, Cécile has been active as a speaker on topics such as sexism, allyship and the issues faced by underrepresented groups in STEM.
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