Our allyship toolkit teaches you key terms, approaches and strategies for being a better ally to women whether you're at work, in a social setting or wider society.
Celebrating Women’s Equality Day in the face of a rising tide of dangerous and extremist misogyny across the globe may leave us feeling somewhat disillusioned. In the UK, it is estimated that a woman is killed by a man every three days; the Femicide Census 2021 found that around 60% of women killed by men were killed by a current or former partner.
We can’t expect to dismantle misogynistic violence without first dismantling the pervasive attitudes which allow this kind of abuse to proliferate. If you’re ready to do your bit then you’re in the perfect place. This is the first edition of our Allyship Tool Kit series, where we’ll be exploring in depth how you can be a better ally to a variety of different marginalised communities.
Fundamental Concepts
To understand how to be an effective ally to the women around you, it is important to familiarise yourself with the following terms. Check out these definitions from our Queer Allyship Lexicon.
Misogyny: A dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.
Misogynoir: Discrimination that falls at the intersection of misogyny and anti-black racism, as experienced by Black women. The term was coined by Black feminist writer Moya Bailey.
Transmisogyny: Discrimination that falls at the intersection of transphobia and misogyny, as experienced by trans women and trans feminine people. The term was coined by writer and transgender activist Julia Serano in her book “Whipping Girl”.
Transmisogynoir: Discrimination that falls at the intersection of transphobia, misogyny and anti-black racism, as experienced by Black trans women and trans feminine people.
Intersectionality: Coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, intersectionality is an analytical framework for understanding how aspects of a person's social and political identities compound to create different layers of discrimination and privilege. Intersectionality identifies multiple factors of advantage and disadvantage across different characteristics such as Race, Class, Sexuality, Marital Status, Disability, Gender, Faith etc.
RESOURCE:
Our essential guide to what intersectionality is and how to put it into practice, featuring perspectives from the WCS Global Speaker Collective.
Bodily Autonomy: Bodily autonomy is the right to make decisions about your own body. The bodily autonomy of women and trans people is often targeted politically through legislation that targets abortion rights and gender transition. It is essential that we have the final say on decisions about our bodies.
VAWG: Acronym for "Violence Against Women and Girls". This umbrella term covers domestic violence, homicide, sexual assault and harassment, honour-based abuse, stalking, coercion and controlling behaviour inflicted upon women and girls. VAWG is not limited to physical violence and has been shown to have long term impacts on the mental health of victims.
TERF: Acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. TERFs are radical feminists who exclude the rights of transgender women from their advocacy of women's rights. TERFs often actively contribute to bigotry towards transgender people.
SWERF: Acronym for Sex Worker Exclusionary Radical Feminist. SWERFs are Radical feminists who exclude the rights of sex workers from their advocacy for women's rights. SWERFs often campaign to criminalise sex work.
Misogyny & Intersectionality
We cannot approach allyship towards women with a “one size fits all” mindset. Women across various identity groups may be treated entirely differently from one another as the misogyny they experience is altered by additional marginalised identities they hold.
For example, while a white woman in a misogynistic work setting may be belittled, spoken over or sexualised, a Black woman may instead find herself being treated as incompetent, aggressive or confrontational. Latina and East Asian women may face being hypersexualised as a result of crass stereotypes, while disabled women are desexualised and disallowed sexual autonomy. For some individuals, their womanhood itself is not always a given; butch, gender non-conforming, intersex and transgender women increasingly find themselves ideologically and physically excluded from other women.
What’s essential to realise is that all of these manifestations of discrimination stem from the same core misogynistic impulse: to control and subjugate women. How a woman’s identities impact her desirability in society often impacts the way this control manifests.
Intersectionality also plays a huge role in issues like the gender pay gap. While women across the board continue to be paid less than their male counterparts, this gap widens further when we take race into account. According to a 2022 survey by the Ethnicity Pay Gap Campaign, 52% of Black women had experienced being paid less than white colleagues in the same role.
RESOURCE:
Being a Queer Woman of Colour in the Workplace.
Speakers from the We Create Space Global Speaker Collective discuss microaggressions and discrimination they have faced at work.
In Practise
Physical safety: Whether you’re planning a trip with friends or going out for after work drinks, prioritise the physical safety of the women around you.
Consider the safety of the area or venue you are going to. Are the streets well lit? Is it accessible by public transport?
Check in about how everyone is getting home and offer to make the journey together if it would make them feel safer.
Ensure it is clear that these gestures are out of a care for safety, as opposed to any kind of sexual advance.
At work: Misogyny in workplaces is less likely to be explicitly violent, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t damaging. Misogynistic attitudes across employment continue to hold women back in their careers, devalue their contributions and exclude them from leadership roles.
Point out if a woman colleague is spoken over, or if someone else takes credit for her idea. Try utilising tips from our microaggressions guide!
“I wanted to hear the rest of what X was saying, can we please let her finish?”
“Thanks for your contribution, I believe X mentioned that earlier in the meeting…”
Consider what you can offer junior women colleagues in terms of industry connections, mentorship or advice. Offer these things out of a genuine desire to empower their progression, not out of a sense of guilt or being a male saviour.
Don’t cover for the bad behaviour of others. Encourage accountability, report sexual harassment and dismantle ‘boy’s club’ vibes.
Celebrate the accomplishments of the women around you. Your voice carries weight and may result in others recognising that which they have previously overlooked.
RESOURCE:
Sayantani Chakravarty shows how our image of an effective leader is limited by regressive gender stereotypes.
Behind closed doors: As a true ally, you must challenge misogyny when it occurs, regardless of whether a woman is around to witness it. A lot of extreme misogynistic rhetoric occurs in men-only spaces, and those attitudes will continue to thrive unless challenged.
Denormalise ‘locker room talk’.
“I don’t think it is ever appropriate to talk about women like that. You wouldn’t say that in public, so don’t say it here.”
Call out misogyny even when it is aimed at someone you don’t like. A woman’s age, opinions or attitude is never a free pass to weaponise misogyny against her. ‘Ironic’ misogyny, whether aimed at celebrities, politicians or regular people, validates the misogynistic behaviour of others.
“I may not agree with X’s opinions, but you undermine your own point of view when you make jokes about how she looks.”
Instead of chastising someone for not being politically correct when they make a misogynistic comment, try appealing to their sense of humanity and inclusion. Let them know you found their comment weird, inappropriate or uncomfortable.
“That’s a really odd thing to say, why did you think it was funny? I wouldn’t want women in my life to hear things like that.”
Internalised misogyny: Misogyny can be perpetrated by anyone, including women. Internalised misogyny often develops out of a desire to protect oneself by attacking other women, but this behaviour harms all women in the long run and does little to protect those who leverage it.
Solidarity is key. There are no ‘bad’ women who are deserving of misogynistic behaviour.
“All women deserve to live free of misogyny, regardless of how they act or present themselves.”
Educate yourself on the intersectional challenges faced by women across a variety of identities.
RESOURCE:
Lesbian Executive Nancy Di Dia and transgender activist Eva Echo discuss their careers and the future of LBTQ+ solidarity.
Addressing Discomfort
If you are perceived as a man, it may feel uncomfortable to function under the assumption that a large portion of the population may view you as a threat. Being perceived this way can affect your self esteem and make it more difficult to be emotionally vulnerable, but the only way to change this perception is to create a world where women and girls are safer.
At the same time, certain demographics of men are more vulnerable to being unfairly profiled as ‘dangerous’. As men move to create a world that is safer for women, women should also be critical of their own biases and consider how racism, colourism and islamophobia may play into the perceived threat wielded by the men they encounter. Look at the Intersectional Wheel of Power and Privilege and consider where you sit on it.
For example, the racist stereotype of the “Black Brute” emerged in the US after the abolishment of slavery as a means to depict Black men as a danger towards white women. White women leveraging their privilege over Black men resulted in countless lynchings, including that of 14 year old Emmett Till.
In Conclusion
We all have a role to play in making the world a safer place for women, and it’s one we should take up enthusiastically. Even the smallest acts of misogyny feed into the bigger picture of violence, abuse and discrimination that women face, so it’s essential that we treat those acts as being as unacceptable as they are.
Allyship is never stagnant, and we should always be committed to learning and bettering ourselves. Continuing to educate and surround yourself with the perspectives of women from a variety of different backgrounds is key. Check out some of our recommendations from the WCS Collective below!
Tash Koster-Thomas
Tash is a leading Inclusion and Diversity Consultant, presenter, speaker, and LGBTQ+ Activist who is driving the conversation forward.
Eva Echo
Eva is a highly respected activist, writer, and public speaker with a passionate focus on transgender rights and mental health.
Taylor Lianne Chandler
Taylor is an advocate who has dedicated her platform and privilege to elevating the voices of Black and brown trans and intersex individuals, fighting for social justice in Washington, DC and beyond.
Nancy Di Dia
Nancy is a highly accomplished corporate executive with over 25 years of experience in the field of Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, Justice, and Belonging (DEIJB).
Ruby Rare
Ruby Rare is sex educator, author, broadcaster, and public speaker on a mission to get people talking more confidently and inclusively about sex.
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