Search Results

We asked nine Queer Leaders from our community about how fashion and personal style interact with their queerness - from finding strength in uniqueness to the comfort of embracing the ordinary. Fashion has always played a role in queer culture - across history queer communities have adopted different styles and uniforms to communicate and signal their identities to each other. But in a world where we are increasingly open about our queerness, fashion and personal style have become our playgrounds of self expression and a space to challenge gender and beauty norms. Maddy Reid (she/her) "My queer identity has been a part of me since forever – I remember having crushes on girls and boys from as early as primary school. I’ve always just liked what I like, or who I like, regardless of gender identity. I think the same can be said for my sense of style, and as I’ve grown up and become more confident in my queer identity, I’ve also become more confident with my style, wearing and pairing what I like together regardless of trends, colour-clashes or mis-matched branding." - @artschoolcliche Barry Brandon (he/they/her/ze) "Fashion for me is more expression and my expression is an ingredient for my power, activism and freedom so for me, though I love fashion as a construct of beautiful garments, jewellery and other accessories, I am never viewing the lens through “what is fashionable”. It’s what makes me feel the most me, so that the outside world can see pieces of my soul in an outward way, similar to that of some of my tattoos." - @thequeerindigo Ben Pechey (they/them) "Clothes are a terrific tool of self-expression, as they act as a canvas for personal exploration. I have long seen fashion as a key to unlocking my desires, using sartorial choices to form a language of self that is undefinable yet also quintessentially me. We don’t experience our queerness in a linear way, so to begin with, my style did most of the talking for my identity. It opened new opportunities for who I could be, allowing me to experiment with the plethora of ways to express queerness. Now it is a familiar friend that holds my hand and secures my sense of self when I need it. To look overtly neither one thing nor another makes you a target for the brunt of discontent that others tend to forward your way when you represent a lack of order or disregard for the ‘rules’. I love my identity, and how it has manifested and enveloped my style. Even though objectively it is the reason I garner negative attention, it makes me feel more connected to myself, stronger, and more capable of flexing with the anxiety that being trans can cause right now. Fashion is art and commerce, but also it is passion, joy and fun. Fashion is a reminder to us all to look for joy - whether we're queer or not - to have fun, and enjoy our existence on earth." - @benpechey Florence (she/her) "Fashion for me is getting how I feel on the inside reflected on the outside. It's something that always came through naturally for me until I conformed in my teen school years to my surroundings rather than my true self. I’m glad I found my way back though!" - @florence.uk Yasmin Benoit (she/her) "I've been drawn to alternative style for most of my life and that kind of self-expression made me become accustomed to standing out, attracting backlash, and sticking to my guns. It's what comes with queering standards when it comes to how you should present yourself, especially as a minority. But navigating alternative spaces as a Black person prepared me for navigating queer spaces as an asexual person and navigating the world as an asexual person. It doesn't make people react to me better, but it's helped me to handle those reactions and stay true to myself regardless of what others think." - @theyasminbenoit Radam Ridwan (they/them) "Fashion can be just as freeing as it is restrictive. We all have uniforms we have to put on to fit in, to some degree. Fashion is a way to put our culture, our individual expression on show - which transcends the boundaries of uniformity. As a 6’5” trans fem non-binary mixed race queer, I’ve always stood out no matter what I’m wearing. These intersecting elements of identity and community come together to form my individual style point of view. In turn, I hope my expression inspires others to do it in their own way. I refuse to be controlled by external perceptions of me, so what I choose to wrap around my body is a shoutout to my queerness and ethnicity, but more importantly, a show of uniquity within the constraints of identity." - @radamridwan Aaron Whitty (he/him) "For me a statement shirt, or blouse as I like to say, is always a win. It’s impactful, eye catching, has movement and can be dressed up or dressed down, just like me. It’s a bit like being an exotic bird while you wear it. It personifies aspects of me that wouldn’t usually be so obvious if I were just wearing a T-shirt; it’s rare, flamboyant and sometimes wild." - @aaronwhitty Yaz Senghor (she/her) "My personal style is all about play. I often say that my aesthetic is “Children's TV Presenter Chic” or “A Toddler Who Has Been Allowed to Dress Themselves for the First Time Realness”. It might seem totally unserious, but every element of it is meticulously, haphazardly chosen. My style is about exploration but also liberation. I want to feel free in all that I wear, entirely for me and no one else. I spent so much of my life feeling ashamed of parts of me, like I had to dress for someone else's approval or blend into the background and not draw attention to myself. The more I learn to not only embrace but actively adore myself and shake off the shame - the more I want to stand out. Not because I need or want attention, but I simply refuse to hide any single glorious part of me. Someone severely lacking in taste once told me that the way I dress was obnoxious. Quite right hun. Being able to be bright, visible, open, flamboyant and very very silly is my way of challenging expectations, taking pride in the things I was told I should be ashamed of and taking up as much space as I possibly can by demanding that you look at me. It is about signalling to the others who were made to feel like they should hide - I know you see me, and I see you too." - @bigblackbutchbitch Ryan Zaman (he/him) "As I’ve grown in confidence with my queer identity, I definitely feel this has been reflected in the clothes that I wear, especially in my work in fashion. My queer identity is, in a way, teaching me to be more care-free about what I wear, especially if it draws attention to me - and not to worry about other people’s perceptions. Even if I wouldn’t wear something “in real life” I feel really privileged to have the opportunity to embody a different part of myself that I wouldn’t normally. That being said, me being an introvert, I also really value being comfortable and wearing clothing that’s more nondescript when I’m just going about my business. In a funny way, it helps me switch off and not stress about things so much. It helps me feel closer to myself - the guy who never thought he would be doing any of this - and my the queer parts of my identity are teaching me the invaluable lesson of giving grace to all parts of myself, too." - @ryan_zaman

In the first instalment of our new travel documentary series PLACES, FACES, SPACES, Sophia Emmerich (she/they) shares with us some of their favourite people, projects and venues that are making a positive impact on queer culture and queer people's experience in Berlin right now. We hope these examples can highlight to you the possibilities of fostering in-person queer community, and encourage you to think about how you could contribute to building queer spaces local to you, as well as be a strong Queer Leader in your local area. In addition, if you're thinking of visiting Berlin for the first time, we hope this round up will help get you inspired about what aspects of queer culture you could explore. If you live in Berlin or know it well, you might even learn about something, somewhere or someone that you haven't come across before - you never know! First, here's a little about Sophia, and their connection to Berlin's queer culture... I’m a Berlin-based photographer and videographer. I’ve lived here for almost twelve years and can’t imagine living elsewhere. The queer scene in Berlin is vibrant, diverse, and multi-cultural. The city welcomes everyone with open arms. There are a lot of queer places to visit and things to experience. I know that Berlin is some sort of a “bubble”, but I love this little queer eco-system that has become my home in the past decade. And now on to Sophia's picks! 1. P7 Gallery P7 Gallery is a space that hosts many queer events, including exhibitions, release parties and live nude painting classes. The owner is Joseph Wolfgang Ohlert, a well-known photographer who focuses on Personalities, Art & Queer Culture. The space is small but has what I like to call “a Berlin look”: artsy and industrial. 2. Kanaan Kanaan describes itself as an “Israeli & Palestinian coop proving every day that together is better and tastier!”. So if you like hummus, it’s the place to go. The first time I went, the owner, Oz Ben David, was wearing a shirt that said “I am hummussexual" and I’m just a sucker for a good pun. 3. Schwuz Queer Club Schwuz is the biggest queer club in Berlin. It’s been around for 45 years and hosts various parties, so there is something for everyone. This place combines dance, art, and community. And if you are looking for a good drag performance, you won’t be disappointed. 4. Nora Eckert Nora Eckert is an author and trans activist living and working in Berlin. In her recent book “Wie alle nur anders, Ein transsexuelles Leben in Berlin." [Translation: Like everyone only different, A transsexual life in Berlin] she talks about being trans in the early 80s in West-Berlin. She organizes walking tours for trans, inter, and non-binary youth in her free time and is part of the Board of Directors at TransInterQueer. 5. Queer Garten Queer Garten is a bi-weekly event in Berlin that started amidst the pandemic in 2020. It takes place at the outdoor area of the “Festsaal Kreuzberg”. You will get some nice tunes, food, and drinks. I highly recommend it during the summertime in Berlin. 6. Marietta Bar Marietta is where your queer neighbourhood connects. The self-proclaimed “queer living room” is located at the heart of the formerly East-Berlin district Prenzlauer Berg. Despite its vintage interior, its only other old-fashioned element is the eponymous drink on the boozy menu. The Marietta hosts weekly events such as “The gay Wednesday”, lesbian regulars’ tables but is also proudly straight-friendly.

The medium of photography is great for capturing our own personal life experiences, as well as a way of starting to understand and appreciate the experiences of others. We wanted to show you some photographers' work which document different aspects and experiences of queer culture. We hope you enjoy the imagery but also learn a little more about the context and intention behind each of these powerful community projects. 1. Gustavo Lopes's Riis is Burning Gustavo Lopes is a photographer based in Brooklyn, NY, but was born and raised in Brazil. Riis is a public beach and park in Queens, NY. The area is a well-established meeting point for people in the LGBTQ+ community, and has been for decades. Lopes wanted to photograph beachgoers and make this zine to show the diverse nature of people who assemble here - people of all ages, genders, races and backgrounds. The subjects are strangers. Through these images, we can truly feel the sense of freedom and joy that subjects feel, just by being themselves and being amongst their chosen family. You can find the full zine on Lopes's website here. 2. Jon Shard's Flesh at the Haçienda The Haçienda is a cornerstone of Manchester's nightlife culture and the house music scene in the 1980s and 90s. Those who frequented the club most-often reflect on their experiences there with a heavy sense of nostalgia. The establishment is also associated with a somewhat legendary enigma status, similar to that of Studio 54 in New York. The club attracted all types of people, especially members of the LGBTQ+ community. Shard captured partiers at a mid-week night at the club called Flesh, which was organised by promoters in October 1991, in an attempt to reverse the club's decline due to it being a magnet for gang activity. Flesh quickly became one of the biggest gay club nights in Europe. 3. Bex Wade's portrait series on NHS waiting lists for gender-affirming surgery for trans and non-binary people. Bex Wade has interviewed multiple trans masculine and non-binary people to get their insight on the struggles they have encountered with the healthcare system in the UK - the long waiting lists for surgeries, inadequate mental health support during the pandemic. To accompany these interviews, Wade captured their interviewees in a sensitive, realistic and empowering way. 4. Sophia Emmerich's Gender Fluidity Some words on the project from Sophia herself: "These photographs were made by a fully LGBTQIA+ team and everyone on set had a taste of this vision. Here we see the magic that happens when a group of queer people create something that is by them, and for them. The key to liberation doesn’t lie amongst rainbows and flags, it sits in the hand of every person who has a privilege that another does not, and it is our duty to take this key and unlock every door until the wind of change blows freely through." Credits for Gender Fluidity: ​BRIANNA, they/she @barinatsarina ​EVE, she/they @eve_beucher ​JOSEPHINE, she/they @josephines030 ​MELON, she/they @fe.male.dragon ​THESIS, any pronouns @syn__thesis ​Photography by Sophia Emmerich, she/they @sophia.emmerich ​Art Direction by Cora Hamilton, they/them @coraefhamilton and Sophia Emmerich Photo Assistance by Sam Arndt, he/him @sam121291 ​Set Design by Carolina Restrepo, she/her @livingfortomato ​Styling by Christo Nakos, he/him @christonakos ​Styling Assistance by Nida, she/her @nyyydl ​Hair and Makeup by CrisToni Florido Acosta, any pronouns @jupita322 ​Agency @wirsinduns

To recognise #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth we sat down with six LGBTQ+ Leaders from our Queer Collective to hear their personal stories, challenges and explore practical self-care tools to help Queer Leaders thrive in the workplace. Using a story-teach-tool approach, we will explore LGBTQ+ mental health through an intersectional lens across a series of three informal recorded conversations with six Queer Leaders from our collective. Mixing storytelling, holistic practices, and therapeutic tools, we hope to not only raise awareness of the challenges, but kick start a reflective process around how we all approach mental health, wellbeing, and our needs, inside and outside the workplace. #ThriveWithPride 1. in-Conversation with Chloë Davies and David Kam. Chloë Davies (she/her) and David Kam (he/him) discuss their experience of balancing mental, emotional and physical health, alongside their own intersecting identities and professional lives. “When queer leaders forget to take time for themselves, they block any capacity to fully empathise, and also to discern what is most in alignment with where they are.” David Kam “We achieve thriving in the workplace by creating spaces where people can be their full self, where they can show up, where they understand what it truly means to thrive.” Chloë Davies 2. in-Conversation with Scott Sallée and CK. Scott Sallée (he/they) and CK (they/them) chat about mental health in the queer community and how this relates to showing up as their best selves in the workplace. "What I want most for our community, is to move from that feeling of safety, more into that zone of thriving, where we glow, where we radiate, where we shine.” Scott Sallée “I don't feel that pausing and being with ourselves can be comfortable at all times, but I feel that when we do do that, we nourish ourselves and get to replenish ourselves.” CK 3. in-Conversation with Adi Sinha and Chris Grant. Adi Sinha (he/him) and Chris Grant (they/them) talk about queer experiences of mental health diagnoses and navigating these in both a personal and professional environment. "Mental health for me, started from a very rational point of view, as to what the diagnosis can bring through, but now it's more about just knowing my own self.” Adi Sinha “For me it was really a process of moving from that belief of "mental health issues need to be something that are dealt with or fixed" to something that is just part of us.” Chris Grant With special thanks to Mama Shelter London, for being our location partner for this film. Other credits include: Filming and edit: producedby.kiran At WE CREATE SPACE we love to create meaningful and engaging content dedicated to helping organisations become more inclusive for all their employees. To learn more about how we can create bespoke videos, articles, research reports and more, check out our corporate DEI solutions or contact us through email: hello@wecreatespace.co

From cuisine to complicated shopping aisles, Adi had to quickly learn how to decipher British culture. Struggling with his identity actually connected him more to his South Asian heritage. And a new British passport brought a new sense of belonging and the desire to conquer the UK as a queer brown boy from India. Navigating the UK as a brown boy from India. By Aditya Sinha To counter the perception of being a ‘FOB’ (fresh off the boat), I’ve acquired an interesting set of learning tactics since moving to the UK. Hours have been spent memorising the song lyrics of UK Spotify playlists, with hours more spent deciphering accents from the North to the South and even to the West Country (my particular favourite!) I've learnt innumerable cultural food references, such as determining that a ‘pud’ is in fact a pudding (which actually means dessert), and that the Yorkshire and Black varieties are not really ‘puds’ after all. I've had to adjust to the labyrinth of supermarket aisles (a very different environment to which I was used to shopping in), grasping signage and novel store layouts (bread and eggs go together kind of stuff). I’ve picked up the delightful habit of eating sandwiches with crisps for lunch, so much so that I’ll complain upon not being able to find such a delectable Pret selection anywhere else on the continent. I’ve mastered the components of a traditional Christmas dinner (a completely new concept to me), and become accustomed with gardening, having previously never touched a twig in my life! Such UK centric skills and trivia are just some of the endless notes that fill the pages of my imaginary learning notebook, titled “How to live in the UK as a brown boy from India’’. Each has varied stories of embarrassment, amazement, or sometimes even shock associated with it. But whilst at it, I’ve also had to learn the names of all British Olympic winners, important painters and musicians from the last two hundred odd years, as well as many other riveting and niche facts about the UK. "Adapting to life in the UK was, and still is, relentless. It can be draining at times." This part of learning was essential in my preparation for the ‘Life in the UK’ test; required of anyone wishing to become a permanent resident. Many of my fellow immigrants will recognise this as the ‘ILR’ (Indefinite Leave to Remain). This is an interesting choice of residence title, bearing a carrot and stick sentiment when you think about it – you may remain here, but we’d rather you leave. Adapting to life in the UK was, and still is, relentless. It can be draining at times. And whilst I choose to be on this learning journey, as I know that it’s equally expected of me - continue to learn I must. With this continual journey in mind, I still give myself a mini pat on the back when asked for directions on the street or on public transport for example. How great it feels to be considered a local. And, if that someone asking happens to be British, this mini pat transforms into a huge pat, even a self-hug! The underlying emotion to moments like this is closely tied to a desperate desire to belong. A hugely common desire amongst POC living as immigrants. It makes us question whether we belong to one place or two; perhaps even more. And do we belong to these places equally or to one more than the other? From personal experience, where I belong can feel very different at different times. "The underlying emotion to moments like this is closely tied to a desperate desire to belong." Acquiring my British passport (very cool!), has contributed hugely to my sense of belonging. In 2019, when sashaying through immigration in Japan without a visa, with just a flash of my burgundy passport, it felt incredibly surreal. The experience was such a huge transformation from what travel once meant for me. With the UK not part of the Schengen region, I had settled with having to plan meticulously months in advance. Even for a simple pre-Brexit trip to Europe, this involved submitting bank statements, proof of accommodation and employment. I had to sit back and enviously watch British friends and colleagues hop on the train to Paris at the drop of a hat. Despite these expectations becoming routine for me, travel also came with the additional complexities (detailed interrogation) that most POC with a ‘weaker passport’ can expect. The company of my British partner proved the only antidote to a more intense line of questioning. It seemingly took a respectable looking white man to stand beside me in the queue for immigration to leave border police feeling more reassured about my intentions. "Even now, with the security of my British passport, I still experience the fear of being stopped and called out while returning ‘home’." Yet, the sharp feeling of dread attached to travel and questioning can never quite leave you. Even now, with the security of my British passport, I still experience the fear of being stopped and called out while returning ‘home’, for not saying something I should, or not carrying a document I should be. I still distinctly recall the moment I first felt I could potentially live in the UK long term. Whilst standing on platform three at Slough station, with a First Great Western train whizzing past me, I was filled with a nascent sense of confidence and grounding. It was as though new and fresh roots had appeared directly under my feet, making their way along platform three and up through my body. Eleven years and eight addresses later, here I am, feeling extremely glad of the experiences the UK has offered me; the good, the bad and the ugly. They’ve shaped me in so many ways and given me so much. I have toiled, I have fought tooth and nail to have a seat at the table; in a metaphorical sense, and quite a literal one when on the underground! "My move to the UK has enabled me to connect with my roots on my terms." But even when marked by issues or challenges, my experiences have gifted me with the grit and determination to make myself count. For it is here that I’ve developed an in-depth sense of my own being. It is here that I’ve gained a world view in its truest sense. It is here that I came out, and where I’ve learnt about financial, emotional and spiritual independence. My move to the UK has enabled me to connect with my roots on my terms. I would not trade my time, my memories or my journey here for anything. Want to connect with Adi? Find out more here. Follow him on Instagram and Linkedin.

Ali Hendry and Denny Tu discuss the importance of empathetic leadership inside and outside the workplace. As change-makers seeking to build more diverse, inclusive, and equitable work cultures we’re often called to lead with empathy. This requires inhabiting new spaces in our hearts and minds. In this webinar we’ll explore how we can grow our empathic leadership skills to become more impactful role models and foster psychologically safe spaces within our organisations, communities and beyond. Watch this webinar to... - Cultivate more knowledge and understanding of global LGBTQIA+ issues - Discover new methods for creating more inclusive cultures at work - Find practical self-care tools and tips for managing your mental health - Feel empowered to help and support others - Become more intuitive and empathetic with the decisions you make as a leader or change-maker - Increase the positive impact you could have in the world - Understand better your actions, thoughts and beliefs as an Ally of the entire LGBTQIA+ community - Use the safe space to discuss, learn and get curious Learn more about Ali Hendry's work. Learn more about Denny Tu's work. If you would like to discuss booking one of these speakers for your own session, please get in touch with us via email at hello@wecreatespace.co While you're here... Did you know we consult with 100+ Businesses, ERGs and Change-Leaders providing bespoke corporate solutions? Through consultancy we design shared learning experiences, produce DEI insights and craft bespoke content that support individuals with strengthening their roles as change-agents within their communities and organisations. Find out more here. We also organise FREE community events throughout the year! We offer a variety of ways to get involved - both online and in person. This is a great way to network and learn more about others' experiences, through in-depth discussion on an array of topics. You can find out what events we have coming up here. New ones are added all the time, so make sure you sign up to our newsletter so you can stay up to date!

Gurchaten Sandhu, Yasir Mirza, Jayne Ozanne and Nathan Nalla enlighten us about their experiences with conversion therapy. A live panel discussion with four Queer Leaders, who will each be sharing their stories and unique lived experience through the lens of their different LGBTQ+ intersecting identities. Our panellist discuss their experiences with Conversion Therapy and its effects on their mental and physical wellbeing, wider research into the effectiveness of Conversion Therapy, reconciliation with their families, as well as questions they still have as survivors. Learn more about Gurchaten Sandhu's work. Learn more about Yasir Mirza's work. If you would like to discuss booking one of these speakers for your own session, please get in touch with us via email at hello@wecreatespace.co While you're here... Did you know we consult with 100+ Businesses, ERGs and Change-Leaders providing bespoke corporate solutions? Through consultancy we design shared learning experiences, produce DEI insights and craft bespoke content that support individuals with strengthening their roles as change-agents within their communities and organisations. Find out more here. We also organise FREE community events throughout the year! We offer a variety of ways to get involved - both online and in person. This is a great way to network and learn more about others' experiences, through in-depth discussion on an array of topics. You can find out what events we have coming up here. New ones are added all the time, so make sure you sign up to our newsletter so you can stay up to date!

Living with multiple identities that challenge the norms of a cis-gender straight heteronormative society can present a labyrinth of emotional and behavioural conflicts. Our guest writer Zee Monteiro reflects on the influences of race, gender and spirituality on their journey to a deeper sense of self. I identify as non-binary, but I will always be a Black woman. by Zee Monteiro It's been a year and a month since I have been on low dose HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy). Six months into my journey when the changes became more apparent, I noticed a worry, a concern in my body. Don’t get me wrong, I was enjoying the lowering of my voice and the muscle growth - but I was worried that I was losing something. Yet I couldn’t really place my emotions with the language to work out what that something actually was. Around the same time, a friend sent over a link to the Black Trans Foundation as they opened up therapy services for Black trans and non-binary individuals. This came perfectly timed, as I was needing to hash out the feelings I was experiencing, and knew that I wanted to do it with a Black Trans therapist who could support me in understanding my emotions holistically - on a personal, spiritual and professional level. A couple of sessions in, during one of our conversations around how my family raised me and the ideas of gender, Blackness, and spirituality, I mentioned something along the lines of “I am non-binary, but I am a Black woman, it's a spirit I cannot and do not want to lose.” My therapist, a Black trans man, nodded. I took a deep breath and realized that this was that something that I was afraid of losing - the spirituality that I received through my Black female body and the womanhood I was brought up in. ''Womanhood has always been denied to Black women, therefore they had to carve their own space.'' I was raised as a Black woman, and my family is filled with Black women who are open, loud and very much present. I remember, as a child, the Sunday morning ritual of being sat between the legs of Black women whilst they braided my hair. Even though I hated it and could never sit still, it was at the same time my most sacred place. I remember being welcomed within the warm hands of Black women. As they held my small face between their hands and looked at me with joy as I grew year by year, I felt their pride through the warmth of their hands. By holding my face, they would let me know that I was safe with them, and that I could see myself in them. There is no other group of people or race that could make me feel as safe as a Black woman would. The older I got the more I understood why, and a lot of it changed around the time that I myself became ‘a young Black woman.’ During puberty I dealt with being adultified by non-white and white women. Men, both Black, white and all in between hypersexualized me and I was a subject of misogynoir. Simultaneously, I felt that I didn’t fully understand what I had been thrown into, and my brain did not grasp the full scope of growing up - but still I pretended as best as I could. I did understand that my experiences were different from women and that I only felt safe in spaces with Black women, yet the way I expressed myself even within Black spaces was not quite ‘the right way.’ I had assumed this was because I was brought up in specifically white spaces during my adolescent years, but in hindsight this conflict around expression was in fact often because of feelings rooted in gender. ''Living in this Black female body and having been subjected to racism, misogynoir, sexism and homophobia, I have performed and conformed my way into femininity and the heteronormative ideas of gender as a means of survival, to fit in and belong. This meant code switching not only in white hetero places, but also Black hetero spaces.'' The reason why I use women, Black women and the notion of womanhood as separate is because they are. Womanhood has always been denied to Black women, therefore they had to carve their own space. You do not have to go as far back as colonialism to see this. In fact you don’t need to look back at all - it is a very current, very visceral reality. Even very recently, shocking videos have surfaced from the Ukrainian borders of Black women and children being denied access on buses attempting to flee a live war zone. While Ukrainian soldiers made sure women and children had access to safety first, Black women and children were left behind. Amidst war and the aftermath of the Black Lives Matter movement, the dehumanization of Black bodies still very much exists. Before I continue, I need to state that when speaking on the self-identification of non-binary, I am referring to the unlearning of European societal standards on gender that has been internalized, and I also believe that there is a difference between race and spirituality in relation to this. There is a lot of debate and theories on what gender is, from theories stating that gender is created through interactions and performances, to other theories that dive into gender as feelings. On theories written on gender, I must constantly be aware that I live within the intersectionality of multiple identities and most theories are written through a white Eurocentric lens, where often spirituality and ancestral memories are yet to be included. On one hand, yes, gender is external and focused on performance and on the other hand gender is a feeling. Both can be true, and even more theories can exist. ''The marginalization and traumas that I have faced and still feel to this day, through the bodies of other Black women, is felt in my body. I feel what they feel, I stand where they stand, I laugh and cry with them. Yet some of them deny me my queerness, some deny me my gender-fluidity. Even though their erasure of my identity hurts me, Black womanhood is my spiritual and cultural safe haven.'' Living in this Black female body and having been subjected to racism, misogynoir, sexism and homophobia, I have performed and conformed my way into femininity and the heteronormative ideas of gender as a means of survival, to fit in and belong. This meant code switching not only in white hetero places, but also Black hetero spaces. I am not alone in this dynamic or the discussion about it. Popular TikTok creators @oujibug and @annikaizora have mentioned that identifying as non-binary and a Black Woman is indeed possible as they are not mutually exclusive identities - a sentiment I feel aligns and resonates with my own feelings. There is an assumption that I must choose the binary and because I cannot fully align with my Black female body and its energy, I must therefore hate my current body. I do not. I am merely adapting it to align with the multitude of energies I feel. Black trans author, poet and educator J Mase III articulates it well: ''I was not born in the wrong body, I was born in a society that refused to see the capacity of this body.'' I identify as non-binary, but I will always be Black woman, as my experiences that I have are that of Black women. I was raised to be a Black woman and I cannot separate myself from these experiences. The marginalization and traumas that I have faced and still feel to this day, through the bodies of other Black women, is felt in my body. I feel what they feel, I stand where they stand, I laugh and cry with them. Yet some of them deny me my queerness, some deny me my gender-fluidity. Even though their erasure of my identity hurts me, Black womanhood is my spiritual and cultural safe haven. It's not all of me, but a very crucial part of how I make sense of my being and move through the world. ''With the multiple energies I have, as I came to explore and understand my identity, I knew I needed to live within and respect the energies I had been given.'' Again, it isn’t all of me. See, even when they held my small face in their hands as a child and made sure I saw myself in them, I wonder, looking back, if they were able to see all of me? They themselves had the experiences of being a Black woman and I understood the struggles that I was about to face, without yet fully yet understanding the full scope of them. I was raised with the understanding of the Eve Gene, the start of civilization through the African female body. The Ankh, creating a unity amongst Black women and tying their spiritual roots of the female body and femininity to Africa. Yet in understanding and co-existing in these spaces, my masculinity felt as powerful, it was an energy that was separate. Not one that overpowers the other but to co-exist with it, similar to the functions of our muscles and bones. Where bones shape and help us stand straight, whilst muscles, which are attached to our bones, help us walk, smile and run. One cannot function without the other, they must work in unity to move. ''Psychological, emotional and psychosocial warfare has, and still is being waged amongst Black bodies and specifically Black women. I cannot conform to this reality - as it will not save me, nor do I want it.'' The masculinity I speak about here should be seen as separate to the ideas of masculinity that society puts on Black women. This type of masculinity is described through the White supremacy lens and set towards the hatred of Black women. The energy I speak about exceeds the patriarchy, as energy itself is older than it. Our bodies hold onto energies that are older than we might be aware of, epigenetic research has shown that intergenetics and ancestral memories have more of an impact on our bodies than we realize. With the multiple energies I have, as I came to explore and understand my identity, I knew I needed to live within and respect the energies I had been given. The article The splendor of Gender non-conformity in Africa states: Shaman Malidoma Somé of the Dagaaba Tribe of Ghana says that that gender to the tribe is not dependent upon sexual anatomy.“It is purely energetic. In that context, one who is physically male can vibrate female energy, and vice versa. That is where the real gender is.” Often in villages it was not your sex that determined your role, but your skills, your energy and ultimately what you were able to contribute to the village that determined who you were. ''Each part has a role to play in my existence in this body. One cannot exist without the other, just like the sun cannot live without the moon.'' Psychological, emotional and psychosocial warfare has, and still is being waged amongst Black bodies and specifically Black women. I cannot conform to this reality - as it will not save me, nor do I want it. I cannot let the western societal norms, which have also been taken over by many Black individuals, tell me how to move within my own body. Especially the norms which deem women as lesser than, are centered around anti-blackness, or where there is hatred towards LGBTQ+ individuals. My spiritual and emotional experiences with Black womanhood and with my gender nonconformity fuels one another. Each part has a role to play in my existence in this body. One cannot exist without the other, just like the sun cannot live without the moon. References: Butler J (1990) Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. (Abingdon: Routledge) Langer S.J (2018) Theorizing Transgender Identity for Clinical Practice: A new model for understanding gender. (JKP) Wolynn M (2017) It didn’t start with you. (Penguin Books) Photography by Ayahtah Ayahtah About Zee Monteiro: Zee (they/she) is a writer and poet. Both in their writing and poems they challenge the reader to reflect and engage on topics relating to Blackness, Spirituality, Transness & Female Masculinity. Explore Zee's work: qingsland.com alignedpurpose.co Connect with Zee: @qingsland

Maylis Djikalou and Lily Zheng help you harness the power of communicating and influencing. Mindsets are ever present in all of us. They shape our world and experiences whether we are aware of them or not. This webinar is about developing an understanding of what mindsets are, and how they can be dissolved, designed or shifted to support the well-being, growth and development of LGBTQ+ employees. Watch this webinar to... - Learn how to address issues affecting Black LGBTQ+ people. - Discover new methods for creating more inclusive cultures at work. - Feel empowered to help and support others. - Become more intuitive and empathetic with the decisions you make as a leader or change-maker. - Increase the positive impact you could have in the world. - Understand better your actions, thoughts and beliefs as an Ally of the entire LGBTQIA+ community. - Use the safe space to discuss, learn and get curious. Learn more about Maylis Djikalou's work. Learn more about Lily Zheng's work. If you would like to discuss booking one of these speakers for your own session, please get in touch with us via email at hello@wecreatespace.co While you're here... Did you know we consult with 100+ Businesses, ERGs and Change-Leaders providing bespoke corporate solutions? Through consultancy we design shared learning experiences, produce DEI insights and craft bespoke content that support individuals with strengthening their roles as change-agents within their communities and organisations. Find out more here. We also organise FREE community events throughout the year! We offer a variety of ways to get involved - both online and in person. This is a great way to network and learn more about others' experiences, through in-depth discussion on an array of topics. You can find out what events we have coming up here. New ones are added all the time, so make sure you sign up to our newsletter so you can stay up to date!

To recognise #InternationalWomensDay we sat down with six LGBTQ+ Leaders of Colour from our Queer Collective to hear their personal stories of how they're embracing and reclaiming Intersectional Womanhood in their own lives. This year's International Women's Day theme invites us all to be BOLD FOR CHANGE; a callout to create a more gender-inclusive world. At We Create Space, we understand that communities cannot be truly representative until they recognise that the experiences of different genders and sexual orientations can be extremely varied. We need new perceptions, real stories and intersectional experiences at the table. Authentic representation and intersectionality are key. Dialogue around gender needs to be nuanced and multi-faceted. This means acknowledging that every person has different layers of complexity; allowing them the opportunity to articulate their own unique lived experience. The history of gender inequality is complex and can be difficult to understand, especially if you are not directly affected. This is why, for this year's #InternationalWomensDay, we wanted to explore intersectionality and womanhood through a series of informal recorded conversations with our own team, in hopes of using their personal stories as a way of educating and evolving all of our discussions and understanding. Char Bailey (she/her) “Being a Woman of Colour, Neuro-Divergent, and being fluid in my gender expression impacts everything that I do and how I see the world. This way of being gives me the strength to focus on how I perceive others, having that helps me to thrive in any working environment. It’s not about what’s happening outside, it’s about what’s happening internally within me.” Tash Thomas (she/her) “I am really embracing my natural masculine energy, instead of trying to push away from it, I will embrace it and use it as part of my strength." Eva Echo (she/they) “Those rigid binary definitions and rules that we grow up learning, they don’t have to be like that. I see it like a map in a computer game, there are only certain parts lit up… the rest is unexplored and dark. What’s beyond that darkness, is more map… you can carry on and it can be safe. By exploring our own map, we allow others to do the same for themselves”. Coco (they/she) “You need support to feel at one with yourself. Until I had that, I didn’t know who I was… I was a shell of Coco...Let’s define our own normal.” Yassine Senghor (she/her) “I feel liberated and free! People will constantly try to divide us, but that’s a tool of the system. Liberation is us of all coming together, saying we reject that. We will create space for everybody to truly be ourselves." Alex D'Sa (she/her) “There will always be people that are more powerful than other, I hope we can come to a point where we are not actively trying stop the liberation of other people." Today we ask you to reflect on how we could all be a little bolder in our own lives; whether it's speaking out against inequality, standing up for someone who has been marginalised, or living an ideal that we want to see brought into this world. This is work we can all do, no matter what gender we identify with. Remembering that there are as many experiences as there are people. With special thanks to Liberty London, for being our location partner for this film. Other credits include: Filming and edit: producedby.kiran Music by @divincent_ @anaalogue @lukrembo WE CREATE SPACE have a developed a tailored set of programmes dedicated to helping organisations become more inclusive for all their employees. To learn more, check out our corporate DEI solutions or contact us through email: hello@wecreatespace.co

Phil Sanger is one of our newest recruits to the Create Space collective. He joins the team as a facilitator and certified coach. We asked him to share some of his story. In 1999 I left my hometown of Barnsley. Kate Bush was playing on my walk-man, on repeat. My destination was Leeds and my goals were to take up professional dance training at the Northern School of Contemporary Dance and, much to the dismay of others, to come out. With both goals firmly under my belt I have since enjoyed a flamboyant career of touring world class stages, appearing in television and film productions, and working with some of the most renowned and queer choreographers to be found. Ten years later (2009 with Kate Bush still on repeat) I began fundraising and producing local and international cultural events. By this point I had become a dance-maker, mentor and educator and I had, at some point, also found time for a hiatus as a nightclub and event manager where I discovered a little more about what it means to be queer, and whole lot more about what it means to be me. Over the years my creative interests have evolved and become much more politically centred around queer visibility and coming out stories. The shift in content was galvanised when I started working with a coach who supported a transitionary period of my career and to my surprise, I uncovered in myself a lion's share of internalised homophobia and so 'the work' began. The result was that I myself would go on to become a coach and trainer, and the wellbeing of the LGBTQ+ community became the next focal point of my practice. Another ten years later (Yes, 2019 and Kate Bush is STILL on repeat) I toured a pseudo-glamorous solo show titled 'For Only An Hour'. The premise of the show was that I would confront my shame and share my coming out stories on stage as a political act of queer visibility and LGBTQ+ rights. The show consolidated my otherwise incoherent journey and now, I am here. Phil spoke to our Programme Director, Maylis Djikalou, about his Create Space workshop, ‘Give Me Courage’ taking place Saturday 1st May 2021. Discover more about Phil: weareramped.org @philsanger LinkedIn Follow WE CREATE SPACE on social: @wecreatespace.co View upcoming workshops. Join our community for free to hear when we release new workshops.

We sat down with Change Management and People Transformation specialist, Gatonga Theuri, an attendee of our Who Am I? GBTQ leadership programme, to hear about his retreat experience and how he's used our teachings to drive change in his own life. Who are you? I am spirit experiencing life as a human being who is black, African, gay and professionally, a program manager in the field of Data Science, insights and analytics. How did you find yourself doing what you're doing? I was always drawn to computer science and the possibility of information technology which I believe to be limitless and right now in its early infancy; in addition, unrealized potential has always been an area of interest to me, and being part of the process of realizing said potential or evolution of individuals and humanity as a whole has always been what I thought is part of my calling. What have you learnt throughout your journey? That it’s okay not to be okay, that I am not alone, that there are people like me from different pockets of the World striving for the same clearest, best and most life possible. Why did you get involved in the "Who Am I?" programme? I am naturally introspective and believe that the quest for self-knowledge is literally why we are here – to discover our limitlessness and phenomenal potential, and through this experience, encourage all to discover and revel in their true magnificent selves. Have you used anything from our retreat in your life? Yes, mainly in how I approach my personal and professional life – I was an extremely ambitious, overworked and stressed out man – always trying to prove myself worthy…now, I am hopefully on a different tangent – one of self-discovery, self-love and self-care – where my motives are not subservient to others or society, but are all about experiencing the highest, most and best possible life for me. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? It’s quite checkered to be honest – for the longest time, I was deeply in the closet, especially when I was living in Nairobi (Kenya), so I avoided the community at all costs, as I thought that association was social suicide; later, when I decided to live with my first partner, I was more open to the community albeit heavily discreet. Having moved to live initially in Budapest, and now in London, I feel deeply that I want to give back and take care of my siblings in the community; be to them that which I lacked for instance a model of a possible life; spread more love and try and overcome some of the darkest parts of the community. I want to play a part in the healing and self-acceptance; help our community members live better, more elevated and quality lives through self-love, self-knowledge, and self-care, which I think all begins with self-acceptance. What's the biggest challenge you're currently facing? Fear of ending up with no one to share my love and my life with – I am currently single, after 3 serious attempts ()…I know I am made for love, to love and be loved, so my fear is not finding that soon or ever. Have you learnt anything new about yourself since the retreat? Yes…I am a deeply loving and caring man that will see the best first in others, yet I am also an extremely harsh self-critic…I am trying to be more conscious and present in my self-talk, in a bid to be less self-critical. Turning it from negative self-talk, to positive, loving and uplifting self-talk. How do you continue to "Create Space"? Meditation, Gratitude exercise (writing down 3 things I’m grateful for daily), physical exercisen (sadly not consistent or as much as I’d like), changing my self-dialogue and taking time to enjoy myself without guilt. Want to connect with Gatonga? Follow him on Linkedin. Are you interested in joining one of our retreats? Our 'Who Am I?' retreats take place throughout the year. We have tailored iterations of the programme to suit the needs of differing identity groups. Each person can attend the group that feels right for them. To stay updated about upcoming workshop and retreat dates, please subscribe to our mailing list here.

We sat down with diversity, equity and inclusion specialist Yassine Senghor, an attendee of our Who Am I? LBTQ leadership programme and now We Create Space team member, to hear about her retreat experience and how she's used our teachings to drive change in her own life. Who are you? I am Yaz, an Equality/Equity Diversity and Inculsion specialist, writer, mentor, speaker, facilitator, podcaster and occasional model (that's the short version). I am the Director of Confronting Change EDI Strategies, a consultancy that supports organizations and community spaces to consider their inclusive practice through an intersectional lens. While much of my work centres around consultancy, it has actually led to some really exciting places that I couldn't have predicted, like working with young people and focusing more on supporting marginalised people as well as allies and supporters. How did you find yourself doing what you're doing? In 2016 I did a Masters in Gender and Sexuality Studies, as the treatment and rights of women and people with marginalized identities has always been something vitally important to me, both personally and in terms of how I want to effect change in the world. I then had a short lived but really impactful run in Brighton where I managed the Marlborough Pub and Theatre, which was a hub for the queer community there. This allowed me to focus on how I could utilize my background in hospitality and people management to create space for the community that was so close to my heart, and specifically for the most marginalized within that community. After that, I was lured back to London to work at Stonewall, the largest LGBT organization in Europe. This is where I was able to combine my understanding of people and my passion for justice together in the world of Equalities (Equity), Diversity & Inclusion. My role there was supporting workplaces to consider their EDI practices and improve their LGBTQ+ Inclusion and how they valued their staff as individuals. I always encouraged an intersectional lens in my work with a focus on race and gender issues as well as creating inclusive spaces that held room for all marginalized people. In 2020, after the murder of George Floyd and the BLM protests, I found myself in a dark place where a lot of my work and efforts felt futile. I had to pull myself out of that and reflect on my beliefs and re-evaluate how I wanted to contribute to making change in the world. This led me to launch my consultancy, Confronting Change EDI Strategies, which allows me to work with clients who are as passionate about justice and change as I am, from an action driven place of empathy and authenticity. What have you learnt throughout your journey? I'm half Gambian and half Liberian, and I've been living in London for about 13 years now, but before that I hopped around the world a bit. I raise that because being an immigrant is an element of my intersectional experience that I am only recently starting to grapple with in terms of how it has impacted my experience of the world, alongside being a black, dark skinned, queer, masculine presenting, gender non-conforming, fat woman with mental health issues. These are all things I am deeply proud of now, but I am still doing a lot of work to unpack how I internalized negative societal attitudes towards these things. I've also learned to listen to myself. Sometimes it feels like I already know quite clearly what I want, and have a lot of the answers that I've been searching for, I just needed to give myself the space to explore those answers and actually hear them. When I listen to them, my gut or the guiding universe, or whatever you want to call it, I almost always get results, and wilder than I could have predicted. I think that's because I feel much more fulfilled, like I'm not pushing against myself, that I'm more aligned with my vision and my purpose. That has led to huge changes in my personal relationships, my work and also in the way that I treat myself in the midst of it all. Why did you get involved in the 'Who Am I?' programme? During the pandemic finding online spaces with like minded people became essential to me. It coincided with a lot of personal growth and change that was happening for me also, but I think like most people, I was just a bit lonely. The Who Am I? programme allowed me to meet incredible people who have brilliant life stories and are doing really inspirational work. I would normally feel a bit of imposter syndrome in those spaces, but with this programme, I was surrounded by people who were rooting for me and saw in me all the inspiring things I saw in them. Have you used anything from our retreat in your life? One of the things that I like the most about the retreat was the holistic approach. There was breath and body work, theory and psychology and then just human conversation. This is something that I have tried to embed into my work and the various ways that I approach new situations and also how I think about my life. I am increasingly trying to make space for all the different elements that enrich me and make me whole from a deeply reflective and conscious place. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? I'd say I'm pretty connected to the LGBTQ+ community. I feel like this has matured alongside me starting from being a pretty solid fixture on the queer club scene to now working in LGBTQ+ workplace inclusion. I volunteer with queer organisations and have participated in organising various Pride events at different cities. For me, being part of the community is now about making sure that no one feels left out and that everyone finds an opportunity to shine and thrive within it. I think particularly of the upcoming queer youth, who have so many more opportunities to define and explore their sexuality and gender, but who still need vital support. Quite often, these are the people who inspire me the most, because of the confidence they have to be themselves, and I consider my role as a self appointed elder, to be to make sure that I am laying solid foundations for those who come after me and learning from those who came before. What's the biggest challenge you're currently working through? I don't know that it's a challenge so much as growing pains, but I am undergoing a process of aligning my body to what I've always wanted it to look like by getting non-flat top surgery. This is incredibly exciting, but it's also pretty terrifying to think that my body and maybe my perception of myself is about to change forever. It's also pretty scary to think that this is something that I've wanted for so long in my life, and I'm finally making it happen! But its something that could not have happened before this period of my life. I have taken all the learnings that have come from the last year, and a lot of the practical and reflective tools I have learned during the Who Am I retreat and applied them to how I want to live my life. This has immediately led to doors being opened and a lot of freedom to really question who I am, and then really just be that person. Have you learnt anything new about yourself recently? I think that I have learnt that I'm a lot braver than I realised. Even attending the 'Who am I?' retreat was something out of my comfort zone, but I went, and I was actually really excited to attend (amidst the nerves). That enthusiasm allowed me to be really engaged in the retreat, to approach it with openness, which required that I bring my fears and vulnerability to the table and actively participate. I try to bring that feeling of excited vulnerability to each new encounter now. Rather than trying to hide the feelings, I am embracing them, and hopefully creating space for others to do the same. It's also nice to have a group of people who are excited to hear about you, your work and what makes you, you. It feels like you are being seen, and in recognising that, it shows that I don't always see myself. So in thinking about that vulnerability, it makes me want to see myself a lot more clearly as well. How do you continue to 'Create Space'? First and foremost, I am just focused on that very idea of creating space, both for myself and others. I am creating space to continue learning about myself and hearing myself and my needs, and to be kind, soft and gentle with myself. Creating space for love and rest and joy. I hope that in this, I am creating space to be more compassionate and kind to others. That I am creating spaces where they feel safe and encouraged to be their whole vulnerable selves. This is especially important in my work, where I definitely lead from a person centered approach. I want to understand people as individuals and to hear about their experiences and find our commonality and celebrate our difference. Want to connect with Yassine? Follow her on Instagram, Linkedin and check out her website Confronting Change. Are you interested in joining one of our retreats? Our 'Who Am I?' retreats take place throughout the year. We have tailored iterations of the programme to suit the needs of differing identity groups. Each person can attend the group that feels right for them. To stay updated about upcoming workshop and retreat dates, please subscribe to our mailing list here.

We sat down with Jon-Paul Vicari, an attendee of our Who Am I? GBTQ leadership programme, to learn more about him, his retreat experience and find out how he's using our teachings to drive change in his own life. Who are you? Wow, what a first question. My name is Jon-Paul Vicari and I am (in no particular order) gay, Lebanese, Italian, and proud. I usually tell people I come from a place of yes when describing myself because I say yes more often than not. It’s why Bethenny Frankel and I are meant to be best friends. Saying yes to many things in life is a privilege I am fortunate to have right now. I live with Jordan, my partner of 7.5 years in Chicago, and our dog Roo and find myself often eating good food, reading good books, watching Bravo, and traveling. I tend to use comedy as a coping mechanism and have been living with depression as long as I can remember. I love being in therapy (I truly do) and have been taking antidepressants since early 2020 which has been both laborious and beneficial for me. Friends and family are the most important thing to me and I am fortunate to have a great family by blood and by choice. After so long of not seeing people, I am working on being more present with them now and savoring every moment. Doom scrolling be damned, I want more meals together, more hugs, more laughs, more being vulnerable, and more memories. No day but today rings true even more so than ever. For work, I'm currently in a sales role focused on helping organizations hire hourly workers across the US. I've also had the opportunity to serve on my company’s DEI Committee. How did you find yourself doing what you're doing? I found myself unemployed in late 2014 and spent several months figuring out if I wanted to leave retail and pursue other opportunities in sales. Luckily, I found a job with a great leader who was willing to give me a chance to enter a new industry. She and I still work together now at our current company too. I’ve loved being able to bring my skills to table in a completely different space while learning and adapting along the way. What have you learnt throughout your journey? Kindness and compassion are essential for me to be fulfilled in and out of work. Knowing and working with people who regularly display these traits as verbs rather than only adjectives has made me a better person. Being able to treat yourself with the same level of kindness and compassion you would give others is work I will do forever, it’s a daily habit that recenters my perspective. I think about this Teddy Roosevelt quote a lot in this context “Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.” Why did you get involved in the 'Who Am I?' programme? The truth is, I was in a bit of an identity crisis and really unsure about what I was doing with my life in general. I was already impressed with the work We Create Space was doing with another organisation called myGwork, and when I read through the programme information, I felt an immediate sense of relief that there were other queer people like me who wanted to be supportive and supported in their journeys. I knew immediately I needed to participate and loved every second of it. Have you used anything from our retreat in your life? Since I attended in April 2021, I've used many of the lessons in my everyday life. One of the most impactful things has been breathwork. Despite not having much experience with it heading into the retreat, it provided me with immense relief and space to discover more about myself while healing other aspects. I've been practicing at a small scale throughout the day and worked with one of the retreat coaches in a 1:1 setting a few months ago. All of the retreat work and relationships built were the spark I needed to get myself back on track with my mental health journey after feeling stuck for a long time. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? I identify as gay/queer and use them interchangably for myself. I have friends and family across the full spectrum of identities within our broader LGBTQ+ community. Being able to see and validate our joint experiences as a community makes me feel connected to all of us across the world. Currently I participate in a gay mens book club in Chicago and am a penpal with Black & Pink who help pair up LGBTQ+ people who are incarcerated with LGBTQ+ people who are on the outside. I find myself in a season of life where being queer and proud is more important than ever and supporting our community in anyway I can is my goal. What's the biggest challenge you're currently working through? Maintaining and building on the progress I’ve made over the past 18 months. Today I am the most me I have ever been in my whole life and I love being able to say that. My brain defaults to seeing progress as linear when in reality, progress is never linear. Being able to accept that and still put in the work for myself is a challenge but I’m ready for it. Have you learnt anything new about yourself recently? Part of why I participated in the 'Who am I?' retreat originally was to “fix” some things I felt were going wrong. During the retreat I learned that I wasn’t broken; I was healing. My brain and nervous system were afraid to release parts of the trauma I’ve held onto because I was afraid to see who I was without that in my life. Learning to let that go on top of hearing so many others say “you are worthy” helped me look in the mirror and believe when I said those words to myself. How do you continue to 'Create Space'? Well for one, I try to join the monthly regroups as often as possible. I love getting to see people from my retreat and meeting new people who have gone through this experience. It’s a beautiful reminder of how much support and love we have to give each other. I’ll say it again, breathwork has been a transformative experience for me and while I am slowly working my way through how to incorporate it more into my life, having basics to rely on is amazing. I’ve been able to free up mind to focus on tasks, healing, being present, and physically feel better too. Advocating for my well being at work and with others has been a significant shift for me by setting clear boundaries and bringing people into my experience instead of shutting them out. Lastly, reading. I have loved books my whole life and reading gives me a way to escape, learn, and feel in ways nothing else has been able to. This year I’ve read more books by and about LGBTQ+ people and all of the intersections that exist within our community is truly a gift. Want to connect with Jon-Paul? Follow him on Instagram, LinkedIn and Goodreads. Are you interested in joining one of our retreats? Our 'Who Am I?' retreats take place throughout the year. We have tailored iterations of the programme to suit the needs of differing identity groups. Each person can attend the group that feels right for them. To stay updated about upcoming workshop and retreat dates, please subscribe to our mailing list here.

Matthew Shaw is a BBC News Editor and founder of Fundamental, a new mental health initiative led by gay and bisexual men. He recently joined one of our 'Who am i?' virtual retreats, and has kindly agreed to share his experience. Who are you? My name is Matthew Shaw, and I am a BBC News Editor as well as the founder of Fundamental - a new mental health initiative led by gay and bisexual men. How did you find yourself doing what you are doing? I've worked at BBC News for 25 years and recognise now that remaining mentally healthy is something I must always work on. I had a period of depression in 2014 which knocked me for six - but with support from work, love from family and friends and a willingness to get better I got through it. This encouraged me to make the BBC even better for those of us who need help - and led me to a fellowship at the University of Michigan and serving on the government’s mental health in the workplace advisory committee. Now I’ve set up Fundamental - as I have found so many gay and bisexual men who are passionate about mental health. What have you learnt along the way? I have learned that getting men to talk about their mental health is hard. I truly think looking after your mind should be as acceptable, fun and inspirational as looking after your body or home. Fundamental is about the enjoyment of improving your mental health - we shouldn’t trivialise mental illness but we should make improving ourselves interesting, social and sometimes a laugh! Why did you get involved in the ‘Who am i?’ programme? As a 48 year old gay man who has seen a lot (been around the block is unfair) I celebrate that my journey has been relatively trouble free. But I know that despite our experience being a huge common denominator - gay men rarely talk together in groups beyond their immediate friends about what really matters to us. It’s not just a matter of safety in numbers - it’s both strengthening and revelatory to meet with people of different backgrounds who essentially share one hugely important factor in life. Did you make any changes off the back of the retreat? When I went to Michigan 5 years ago - my friends told me never to say no to an invitation or offer of friendship. To start again and free myself from any judgement or inhibition. The retreat reminded me of this so much - and inspired me to reach out to more men like me. It basically kickstarted Fundamental. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? I have worked in media all my life surrounded by LGBTQ+ people - that’s been very fortunate. But I wouldn’t say I’m an active member of the community apart from being proud of my sexuality in the work I do. I want Fundamental to be a different approach to LGBTQ+ diversity - usually we are the add-ons to prove something is diverse. Fundamental puts us at the centre and invites allies from outside the community to prove we are for everyone. What’s the biggest challenge you’re working through? Surviving 2020 with a smile on my face. Living on my own has been a challenge - but I’ve worked so hard at spoiling myself, talking to friends and family, making home a haven and doing as much as I can to improve the lives of others. I appreciate I sound like a Miss World contestant. Have you learnt anything new about yourself since the retreat? That you can still grow from meeting new people. How do you ‘Create Space’? Time to breathe, time to enjoy simple stuff and time to give myself a pat on the back. @matthewshaw1 @fundamentalhealthuk fundamentalhealthuk.com To stay updated about upcoming 'Who am i?' retreat dates, please subscribe to our mailing list via our website.

Eduardo is an Oxford graduate from Colombia with a passion for philosophy and peace-building. He recently joined one of our 'Who am i?' virtual retreats for gay and bisexual men, and has kindly agreed to share his experience. Who are you? Well, my name is Eduardo Gutiérrez. Professionally speaking, I have a BA and an MA in philosophy, both from Colombia. And I have just finished a year-long MSt in Science & Religion at the University of Oxford (UK). I'm hoping to continue with doctoral studies along the same lines. I'm super interested in using imagination as a powerful tool to overcome false mental oppositions and to create new dialogues. I consider myself an empathic, curious, reflexive, and fast learning person. How did you find yourself doing what you are doing? Luckily I've been able to connect my personal journey and my spiritual inquiries to my academic work. At one point, I was managing several aspects of my life as independent silos, I felt deeply unsatisfied by the rigid and closed views I had on the world. Both my experience and my study of philosophy made me realise I needed to go through a period of intense auto-reformation. I have been working on that for the past two or three years: and here I am! What have you learnt along the way? I´ve learned that it is very easy to antagonise, but it´s much more demanding to harmonise. I think we have a strong tendency to see our lives in specific ways, and sometimes the habit is too strong and does not allow us to consider other options. The key, I believe, is a balance between what you know and what you do not; to maintain the views that have guided you through your life, but also be mindful that life itself might eventually suggest a change of course. Why did you get involved in the ‘Who am i?’ Programme? I actually found the programme by accident, scrolling down my Instagram feed. I first participated in one of the teaser-workshops and then on the two day retreat. I loved it. The idea of offering an open platform for gay or bi men to open up, discuss their own life experiences and share their views regarding identity and sexuality sounded like a valuable contribution to the LGBTQ+ world! What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? I only recently came out as bisexual, so I believe I am still in exploratory mode. Although there are still lots of things I need to understand, the key point is that I've found myself surrounded by amazing people. Everyone has gone through something in order to find themselves, and build a space in society where they feel safe and secure. I completely identify with that struggle, and I think part of what drives me to participate in these workshops is my wish to learn more from other people's experiences. What’s the biggest challenge you’re currently working through? I think deep down, my fundamental challenge is to tear down walls and bridge different aspects of my life! Primarily the gap between my academic discussions and socio-political initiatives, but also between my bisexuality and my Catholic faith. I guess my desire to contribute to peace building processes in Colombia is also about bridging dialogues and fostering reconciliation. Have you learnt anything new about yourself since the retreat? I have found that there's a lot to learn from fellow LGBTQ+ people; that I need to work through my own childhood traumas and certain ideas I received about love; that it is totally worth it to share and connect with others’ emotions; and that re-connecting with my body, especially through practices like breathwork and meditation, can be a powerful way to unlock important information I need to grow more peacefully. How do you ‘Create Space’? I of course try to keep healthy habits in terms of eating, sleeping and exercising etc. In addition to that, I make an effort to pray and/or meditate at least three or four times a week; this keeps me centred and focused, and strengthens my connection to myself. I find that writing down what I think and feel is extremely useful when my emotions and ideas are a bit entangled. Reading literature is an important way for me to allow my imagination to roam freely, and this helps me to avoid single-minded views and be open to new possibilities. And finally, engaging dialogue with others (preferably over coffee) – this is also a fundamental part of my self-care. If you're interested in joining the 'Who am i?' programme, you can find out more here.

Daniel Pillai, the Canadian TV host and personality, is helping us Create Space for self-exploration, self-acceptance and self-care within the queer community. Daniel Pillai is the wonderfully exuberant writer, producer and media host based out of Toronto, Canada. He's also an openly gay man of south asian heritage who has what I'd describe as a very healthy obsession with the colour pink. As a boy he was bullied growing up for being flamboyant and effeminate. Today, it is refreshing and uplifting to witness how comfortable he clearly feels owning all aspects of his personality and multiple identities. Whether it be through his own social media channels or on mainstream television as a host, Daniel is always using his platform to uplift others. He doesn't shy away from "telling it how it is" and sharing his unique story of navigating the trials and triumphs as a gay man. We're elated to have Daniel join the Create Space team as a guest speaker on the 'Who am i?' Programme exploring identity as a gay man. I caught up with him over zoom a couple of weeks ago and had the pleasure of listening to him talk about his life, his career and his journey so far. Daniel grew up in Canada surrounded by a very large family and lots of strong women, including his mother, the youngest of 14 children - 9 of which were sisters. Daniel admits,"Women have been very prominent in my life. It was around women that I felt the most acceptance. I didn't feel like an outsider." Yet he acknowledges that it was still a very conservative family - half Christian and half Hindu - which contributed to a certain shyness and 'closing up' as a child struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. "If I am honest, I didn't allow myself to come out. I didn't ask myself the questions, or allow myself to have experiences. In some respects it didn't just feel as though I'd be disappointing my family. It felt as though I'd be disappointing an entire village!" It wasn't until he went to university that he truly came into his own. He also came out to his family and was shocked by some of the positive reactions he got. In particular from his Grandma, whom he told when she was in her 70s. "She had such a beautiful reaction. She was able to have a very loving conversation with me and accept me as I was." This experience has clearly influenced the way that Daniel approaches family life now. "Education and talking are key when it comes to navigating conflicting values and traditions. If there is an ear, there is an opportunity for a conversation." Speaking about his early early days as a gay man, Daniel recounts that he has never quite fitted into a pre-defined box within the LBTQ+ community. "I was always heavier set physically. I didn't fit into the norm in terms of what was considered attractive. I also was often one of very few people of colour 'on the scene'. So I found it a little bit uncomfortable at times. But I was lucky enough to meet some of my best friends, whom I still have today. For me it was almost like working backwards. I resonated with people, as opposed to a community. But by connecting with people, I found a sense of community." One thing Daniel admits that he is still working on is patience. But he recognises the power it holds. “Time can fix a lot of things. We are all evolving constantly. Accepting my sexuality, and all the other parts of what make me unique came from radical acts of self-love. From learning that I have the power and ability to be who I am despite the conditioning of my ethnic background, my religion, my society and my family." Daniel understands fully the importance of sharing, supporting and guiding others struggling with their identities and sexualities, which is why he is so excited about joining the Create Space team for the month of September as our guest speaker. "If I can encourage someone to love themselves and believe they are worth it, that small feeling can lead to something greater later on. And that’s pretty amazing!” Daniel will be joining the Create Space 'Who am I?' team for the month of September as our guest speaker. With places limited to fourteen participants on each monthly ‘virtual retreat’, it is a very intimate and confidential space. The programme offers the unique opportunity for participants to openly share and learn from each other’s' past experiences without judgement, building resilience together in the face of their collective adversity. You can follow Daniel here: danielpillai.com YouTube Facebook Twitter Instagram

Lo Lo No is an artist and ex-fashion designer based in the seaside town of Margate, UK. They recently joined one of the Create Space 'Who am i?' virtual retreats, and has kindly agreed to share their story and experience. Who are you? My name is Lo Lo, I’m a multi disciplinary artist and my work now looks at identity and existence. Predominantly focused on the oppressed gendered feminine in the male and the experience of gender as a Hetrotopia. I often use myself as my subject and have found my art practice as an intrinsic part of my own investigation and restoration into self after a life time of challenges with my cognitive behaviours, my gender identity and destructive behaviours and addictions related to these challenges. I grew up in London and had a career in the fashion industry and loved living in East London until the culture there wasn’t benefiting me anymore and I was very unhappy and stuck in old habits. I know live by the sea in Margate with my pets and I am half way through a Masters in fine art. How did you find yourself doing what you are doing? I had to go through a period of being really lost. A few years ago I knew that change had to happen. I'd moved from London to Margate and was still doing some work with pop stars, but that work had no real meaning to me anymore. I had to completely stop and sit with not knowing. It was amazingly hard as I'd always had a plan and a vision. I actually debated retraining as a councillor to bring my holistic practices closer to my professional life. But in the end, through my yoga practice I was reminded that I'm an artist, a visual communicator and a thinker, interested in culture and have a history in activism. It took a while, but things started to fall into place and the MA opportunity appeared. Now I'm a student again and bolstering my practice and my knowledge. My aim is to simply gain a better understanding of myself and create work and is progressive for society and culture. What have you learnt along the way? I've learnt that you never stop learning. It's an ongoing process of looking, asking, being vulnerable, being open, accepting, forgiving and shaking it all off. If it’s painful, then it needs to be processed, otherwise it will just keep coming back. We are stronger understanding all aspects of ourself. I know now that no one is going to do this for me but good friends will be there to help and support me; and I've also learnt that sometimes I am the problem and not others. Changing the behaviours that we project onto other people is a great burden to lift. How was your experience of the ‘Who am i?’ Programme? I felt very lucky to be invited to take part. The weekend retreat was really insightful and reassuring to find this common ground between a group of queers who were all strangers. Did you make any changes off the back of the ‘work’ you did? I certainly gained some new insight and information. I was also able to vocalise an issue that I'd always had. That ‘masculinity’ and being ‘male’ is a big trigger for me. So many times through my life, experiences related to this have been traumatic, caused triggers and now exist as complexes. So I've been trying to heal that through my study and practice. What relationship do you have to the LGBTQ+ community? Now it's very local and positive as I curate exhibitions of queer artists. My goal is to represent artists with other voices, outside of stereotypes who are less seen but are the heterogeneous of the community. I'm also one of the organisers of Margate Pride Festival and hadn’t really felt connected to Pride until being in a smaller community where visibility and inclusion are so important. The focus is creating bonds between the LGBTQ people and the town. What are you currently working through? Probably my gender identity and specifically how to publicly identify - my pronouns etc. I am working on understanding myself as a trans person who is living as male and AMAB (does that void my trans identity?) but has experienced different genders in their life. Questioning gender structures and a child’s experience of gender. Then how I relate to other men sexually and romantically, exploring the fetishisation of masculinity. How do you ‘Create Space’? I now know that I need time to recharge my batteries. That means down time, the right amount of sleep, healthy food and exercise. I don’t push myself if I'm not in the mood. I love seeing friends and socialising when I’m at high energy but that actually doesn’t happen that often, and thats ok. I spend a lot of time walking the dog, swimming in the sea, meditating at home and making work. They all help balance the way I approach this mentally. @lo_lo_no_ If you're interested in joining the 'Who am i?' programme, you can find out more here.

This lgbtq+ wellbeing workshop equips participants with new tools for self-empowerment and growth; challenging self-imposed narratives and bringing more awareness to the impact that our stories can have on deciding our own future. The power of story telling. Stories have a profound impact on us as human beings. They influence our mind, body and emotions. Our stories become our own personal maps as we navigate our way through life: acting as fundamental guides for how we relate, communicate with and understand one another and the world we live in - especially in this digital age. What stories have you been telling yourself recently? For some of us, sharing our 'story’ is integrated into everyday life. Perhaps even part of our job. And thanks to social media we can share at any time. Every single day we are presented with so many possible routes of disclosure - about our past, present and future. 2020 has been a challenging year for many, and it's certainly not over. But the content we now choose to project may well be what decides our future, and guides us towards our new goals. "You can't use an old map to explore a new world." - Albert Einstein Entering a new world, but still telling the same old story? It's human nature to find ourselves telling the stories we're simply used to telling. Even the stories we perhaps think the other person wants to hear. The stories we feel comfortable telling. Or the stories we feel we need to tell in order to be heard. But each and every time we present ourselves to the world we have the unique opportunity to reflect and question the validity of the information we are putting out there. If we don't challenge ourselves and question the familiar, then we run the risk of becoming our own personal narrative. It's so easy to get stuck and even develop self-limiting beliefs through the habitual and recurring story lines we tell ourselves. Are your stories empowering you or holding you back? Is it time to reset your narrative? What you could now ask yourself: Is this narrative depicting the most accurate, up-to-date and authentic version of myself? What impact are my stories having? (On myself, other people and society) What are my intentions and motivations? Have they shifted? What story could I be telling instead? Discover what's possible. By picking holes in our own narrative we are able to learn, grow and move forward. By listening to the voice of the unknown, exploring the possibilities, we can spot exciting new opportunities and bring about positive change in our own lives, and in the lives of others. About the workshop. This digital workshop series is inspired by John Paul Lederach’s theory of the Moral Imagination. We present the importance of imagination as a tool when questioning your own story. You will be invited to take part in various creative and interactive workshops to help you focus on the possibilities. Being able to envision yourself and others in different ways is a fundamental practice for self-reflection, conflict resolution and personal growth. During our three hour 'What's My Purpose?' workshop you will: Hear the inspiring stories of others who have shifted their personal narrative Recalibrate your perspective with examples of what’s possible in your life Challenge your assumptions about what’s limiting your capacity Explore why your mindset is key, and how entrenched beliefs can be transformed Key themes we'll use to explore, reflect and reset: 1. Relationships 2. Curiosity 3. Creativity 4. Risks Key self-care tools: We'll be incorporating tried and tested psychological and holistic practices such as journaling, group sharing, self-enquiry, breathwork and meditation. These will be interspersed with key teachings and developmental coaching practices. About the team. We personally design, organise and facilitate each of our retreats and workshops; partnering internationally with leading industry professionals in each sector. Throughout the duration of the retreat, you’ll work in close collaboration with each of the team members in respect of their given workshop. What do we offer? We are offering a safe yet playful space for you to get curious, open up and discuss with others, aspects of your life that you're finding challenging or want to improve. This is not group therapy. Instead, it is an opportunity to access wider teachings and peer support. We understand that some participants may be at different stages on their personal development journey. As a result, the event programme has been shaped to support newbies to kick start the self-exploration process, and to provide new tools and perspectives for more skilled participants to integrate in their road map. Please note - this is an LGBTQ+ workshop. This workshop is for those individuals who identify as part of the lgbtq+ community. Please respect this as it creates a safe space for all to share. Our partners. We are proud to partner with myGwork to deliver this wellbeing and self-empowerment workshop. myGwork is the business community for LGBT+ professionals, graduates, inclusive employers and anyone who believes in workplace equality. Follow us on Instagram to find out more or hear when new dates are released: @wecreatespace.co

Ben Pechey and Eduardo Gutiérrez discuss creativity and risk, and how each have played a part in discovering their own unique personal purpose in life. About Ben: Ben is a non-binary writer, content creator, and LGBTQIA Activist. They aim to uplift and educate through media. They run their own website, are the host of The Happy Place podcast. Ben is a Create Space guest speaker but you can catch them delivering education and laughter daily via their legendary Instagram Stories. benpechey.com @benpechey Ben's Podcast - The Happy Place About Eduardo: Eduardo is an Oxford graduate from Colombia with a passion for philosophy and peace-building. He joined the Create Space team in 2020 after attending the 'Who am I?' virtual retreat, and now facilitates our 'What's My Purpose?' workshop. @eduardofgg Follow WE CREATE SPACE on social: @wecreatespace.co View upcoming workshops. Join our community for free to hear when we release new workshops.